On Facebook!

FYI I've been posting pictures more reliably on my business page on FB (Don't worry, friends, I still haven't capitulated and gotten a personal page, this is strictly biz!)

Here tis:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Austentatious-Desserts/574117119301125

5 Minute Northanger Abbey

I thought it might be fun to see if I could condense my favorite novels into 5 minute plays. (My summer tutor at Oxford would be HORRIFIED by that-- so don't tell her :)

Here's Northanger Abbey, for your enjoyment, as performed by my friends at my birthday party recently:
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NARRATOR: No one who had ever seen Catherine Morland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be an heroine.

CATHERINE: I’m so happy! I have a mother and father who love me and I’m one of 10 children with heads and arms and legs enough for the number.

MRS MORLAND: Catherine has always been very plain and quite a tomboy, but now that she’s 15 she looks almost pretty!

CATHERINE: Thanks mom!  But there are no tall dark strangers in Leesburg. How am I to be a heroine?

MRS ALLEN: Catherine, Mr Allen and I want you to come with us to Washington, DC. Let’s buy some new clothes.

CATHERINE: Oh how lovely! Everything works out so well for me!

NARRATOR: Mrs Allen was a woman whose presence made you wonder how on earth she managed to marry a man of sense.

MRS ALLEN: I wish we knew people in town! But don’t you love my new dress? Or this necklace, isn’t it perfect? What a pity we don’t know anyone at this party, it’s awkward.

CATHERINE: No kidding.

HOST OF PARTY: Catherine, let me introduce Henry and his sister Eleanor.

CATHERINE: Nice to meet you both.

(Eleanor excuses herself)

HENRY: I must ask the standard questions. Have you been long in DC?

CATHERINE: Just a couple of days.

HENRY: And how do you like it?

CATHERINE: Fine.

HENRY: What will you write about me in your diary tonight?

CATHERINE: I don’t keep a diary.

MRS THORPE: Is that you, Janet? Do you remember me?  We went to elementary school together.

MRS ALLEN: Goodness yes! Hello! Let’s be friends!

MRS THORPE: This is my daughter Isabella- she and Catherine should be friends!

ISABELLA: Do you like Gothic romance novels with horrible scenes in them?

CATHERINE: YES

ISABELLA: Me too! Best Friends Forever!  (Linking arms and walking away) Do you have a crush?

CATHERINE: Well…. Henry Tilney is really nice.

ISABELLA: Oh you sly thing! I bet you’re dreaming about him every night.

CATHERINE: no…

ISABELLA: Well anyway there are two guys over there—don’t look!—they have been following me for this whole party. Are they still looking?

CATHERINE: no… they appear to be talking about cars. Now they’re going toward the door.

ISABELLA: That’s just a cover up. Hey, let’s go outside for some fresh air.

CATHERINE: But then aren’t we following them?...

(ISABELLA drags CATHERINE out)

CATHERINE & ISABELLA: Oh look, my brother!

Both laugh but CATHERINE is confused.

ISABELLA: Yes I’ve met your brother. He’s fun. Don’t you go saying we’re going to get married or something like that.

JOHN THORPE: Hey sis. Who’s your friend?

ISABELLA: This is Catherine—James’s sister!

JOHN: Jolly good- let’s hang out. I’ll show you my car; it’s awesome and I built the engine.

(JOHN puts his arm around CATHERINE)

CATHERINE: Um…

(She gets out from under his arm)

ISABELLA, JOHN & JAMES: Road trip!!!

CATHERINE: Oh, but, um, I told Eleanor and Henry I’d go on a walk with them on the Mall.  It’s the kite festival today.

ISABELLA: (pouting)  if you don’t go, then I won’t go.

JAMES: But you must! I always thought you were a nice sister….

JOHN : I’m only going so that you can see my awesome ride. Besides, I saw Henry and his sister in Adams Morgan just now. They must have forgotten about you.

CATHERINE: Well, it is raining and they are a little late, so maybe they decided not to go anyway…

JOHN: Good that’s settled. Let’s go!

(Driving by- they drive past HENRY & ELEANOR)

CATHERINE: Stop the car! You jerk!

JOHN: hahahahahahahahahahaha. Mr Allen is rich, eh?

CATHERINE: Um, yeah, I guess so…

JAMES AND ISABELLA: We’re engaged!!!

MRS THORPE: Yay a rich son-in-law!

JAMES: Huh?

(Another party scene)

TILNEY: Who’s that talking to my son?

JOHN: That’s Catherine Morland. She’s gonna inherit a ton from the Allens and I plan on marrying her.

TILNEY: Hm.  (Going over to HENRY) Why don’t you invite your friend to come visit us at the embassy?

HENRY: Okay… Catherine, want to come stay at the embassy for a few days?

CATHERINE: Sure!  Who’s that guy talking to Isabella?

ELEANOR: That’s our brother Fred.

CATHERINE: He really should watch out because she’s engaged to my brother.

HENRY: She’s not really discouraging him.

CATHERINE: Ew. I don’t think I like her anymore.

CATHERINE: Your dad is pretty intense.

HENRY: I know. I hope he doesn’t scare you.  He’ll give you a tour of the embassy and the gardens.  You have to be on time for dinner or he gets mad.

CATHERINE: Okay.  Did he kill your mom?

HENRY: Are you insane? I can’t believe you just said that.

CATHERINE: I just got a text from James. The wedding is off.

HENRY: Who’s surprised?

CATHERINE: But your brother and Isabella are going to get married instead.

HENRY: Doubtful.

NARRATOR: Imbecility in females is a great enhancement of their personal charms.

CATHERINE: It’s been a week, do you think I should leave?

ELEANOR: Aren’t you having fun?

CATHERINE: Oh yes but I don’t want to be a burden.

ELEANOR: You’re not a burden! Was that an email from Isabella?

CATHERINE: Yeah she thinks I’m stupid, because your brother dumped her and now she wants my brother back. No way.

Nighttime—furious knocking

CATHERINE: Who’s there?

ELEANOR: It’s me. I have bad news. Dad’s kicking you out of the house and putting you on a Greyhound bus at 5 am.

CATHERINE: What did I do?

ELEANOR: I don’t know. Here’s some money…

Back in Leesburg

MRS MORLAND: What happened? Did you take the bus all by yourself?

CATHERINE: Yes. I’m not a child.  Mr. Tilney sent me away.

MRS MORLAND: What a jerk.

(knocking at door)

HENRY: I came to make sure you were okay and to apologize for my dad.

MRS MORLAND: Oh look, something I have to do in the other room… (leaving)

CATHERINE: Did you tell your dad that I thought he was a murderer?

HENRY: No! He just found out you weren’t rich, and that was why he was being nice to you in the first place.

CATHERINE: Oh. What a jerk.

HENRY: Will you marry me anyway?

CATHERINE: Of course!

NARRATOR: To begin perfect happiness at the respective ages of twenty- six and eighteen is to do pretty well.

THE END

Here are some of the good sports reading:

Mr Collins

I just added the description for these to the "Characters" page- but the short version is that Mr Collins specializes in sugary sweet (and insincere) flattery, and is, well, nuts for thinking that Elizabeth Bennet is going to fall over herself to marry him.  He reminds her, "It is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to you."

Like zis...

Love it!

Display Boxes

Today I worked on covering the display boxes that Eric so kindly made for me-- don't they look cool? \ Each one will then have a square catering plate of cookies on it.

Childhood...

Something about M&M cookies brings you back....

We'll call these after Henry Dashwood-- the child who is the reason John Dashwood can't possibly support his stepmother and her three daughters....

Brilliant Austen

This napkin was on display at her home-- Chawton.  I visited England in 2011, and fell in love with it.

But do you know what the British do not have?  Semi-sweet chocolate chips.  How do they survive?

Oh yeah- this is how- they get to look at things like this every day!

Kid's birthday

I did this cake a few years ago for my dear friend's child's birthday. I would never attempt those polka dots again- they did not work!  As you can see, I still have a lot to learn about decorating, but it was delicious.

"Terrible Towel"

I made this cake a few years back, when the Steelers were in the Superbowl... sorry for the poor quality photo!

"Fiesta" Bridal Shower Cupcakes

These were chocolate cake filled with peanut butter cream cheese icing... with a double chocolate glaze on top.

Delish.

Isabella Thorpe Brownies

From the Washington Post's Man-Catcher Brownie recipe

Look at the loveliness

Mmmmmmm.

Emma Snickerdoodles